


More Tumblr Prompts

by barsonaddict



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M, more tumblr prompts, prompt collection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-13
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-06-08 02:27:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 17,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6835258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barsonaddict/pseuds/barsonaddict
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another collection of short one shots. Feel free to check out my blog on tumblr (barsonaddict) for more Barson-y goodness!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. That Red Dress

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt from esparzugh: If you keep looking at me like that we won't make it to a bed

Olivia could feel Barba's eyes on her, following her around the room. She was making her final rounds to the donors and bigwigs she needed to speak with, but kept getting distracted by the heat in his gaze. 

They were at a fundraising gala for one of the charities that she has become involved with during her tenure at SVU. 

The entire squad was in attendance, so it's not like he didn't know anyone else, but he was getting impatient to have her back at their table, back at his side. 

It was torturous, watching her float around the room in that red strapless gown. He was startled from a vision of unzipping the dress ever so slowly, dragging his fingers down her spine when his phone buzzed on the table. 

Rollins raised an eyebrow at him- almost hoping that they were going to be called away due to a case. These events were not on her list of favorite things. 

Seeing the sender's name flashing on the screen, Barba gives her an apologetic look and shakes his head. 

[If you keep looking at me like that we won't make it to a bed]

He allows only the slightest smirk to touch his lips, and swipes his thumb across the screen to reply. 

[Is that a problem?]

He looks up, scanning the room but is unable to locate her. 

His phone buzzes again. 

[Not for me. I happen to enjoy it when you fuck me up against the wall]

He nearly chokes on his own tongue. 

"You alright there, Counselor?" Carisi asks, setting down drinks for himself and Amanda on the table. 

Barba brushes off Carisi's concern as he scans the room again, then gives up and stands abruptly. "I gotta... See you guys on Monday," he says as he walks away from the table, not bothering to wait for a response. 

He smiles stiffly and nods at several people on his way out of the fundraiser but thankfully no one tries to engage him in conversation. He doesn't even remember which charity they're here for at this point. 

Striding through the hotel lobby his phone starts continuously vibrating. He swipes automatically to answer the call, barking out a curt, "Barba!"

"Where are you off to in such a hurry?" Olivia's smooth voice floats into his ear and he immediately turns around, looking for her. 

She's standing at the far end of the lobby, next to the elevators. When they make eye contact she coyly raises one eyebrow. 

He hangs up and practically runs to her. 

Mindful that they are very much not only in public but surrounded by people they work with, Barba stands as close to her as possible without touching her. 

When she reaches out and presses the button to call the elevator, he leans over and murmurs, "I don't have any opposition to fucking you in the elevator but are you sure there aren't any cameras?"

Olivia takes a shaky breath, turned on by his blunt delivery. "You'll need to keep your hands to yourself a little longer, Counselor. There are definitely security cameras covering every inch of public space in this hotel." She takes a white plastic key card out of her clutch. "Fifth floor."

He lets out a breath. "I can make it to the fifth floor."

When the doors open Olivia steps forward, grabbing Rafael's hand and pulling him into the elevator. 

He catches a whiff of her perfume that goes straight to his head. She keeps a tight hold on his hand and presses against him slightly as she reaches over him to press the '5' button. 

He mutters something unintelligible under his breath. 

"What was that?" Liv asks with a smirk. 

He takes a step away from her but keeps hold of her hand. "If you want to make it to a room you're going to have to give me a little space."

"And if I wanted to make it to a bed?"

He shakes his head. "Then you should have worn a different dress."


	2. You Lied To Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from untapdtreasure: you lied to me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While this is basically just Noah and Barba, it's still Barson! Mentions of Rollins/Carisi

"You lied to me." 

"What? What did I lie about?" Rafael asks absently, still partially focused on the paperwork spread out on the dining table. 

"You're not really my dad," Noah whispers accusingly. 

Rafael drops his pen and closes his eyes, letting out a sigh. Why did this have to come up when Liv wasn't here?

Taking a deep breath, he turns in his chair to look at the five year old. "What do you mean, Noah? Where did this come from?"

"At school we had to do a sheet with our family and you don't have the same name as me. That means you're not my dad. All the dads have the same names as the kids."

"C'mere buddy," Rafael says, reaching out toward Noah and pulling the boy into his lap. 

"What makes someone a dad? What do they do?" Rafael asks Noah, hoping to ease his fears with his own words. 

"Um...take care of their kids?" Noah says in a questioning tone. At Barba's encouraging nod he continues. "And dads play catch and wear ties and read stories at bedtime and pick up kids from daycare and drink coffee."

By the end of Noah's list, Barba has a smile on his face. "You're right. Dads do all those things and more. I do that stuff with you. But dads and kids don't always have the same name. Who's Jesse's dad?"

Noah doesn't even have to think about his answer. "Uncle Sonny!" 

"That's right. And do you know what? Jesse's last name is Rollins just like Auntie Amanda. And Uncle Sonny's last name is-"

"Carisi!" Noah interrupts. 

"See? Kids don't always have the same name as their dads."

Noah looks thoughtful as he plays absently with Rafael's tie. "How come some kids get the same name and some don't? Can I get the same as you?"

Rafael answers carefully. "Well, sometimes when grown ups get married one of them changes their name so they're the same. And then if they have kids they get that name."

"So if you and Mommy get married then we can all have the same name?" Noah's face lights up at the idea. 

"Maybe," Rafael tempers his response. He would love nothing more than for that to happen. "But Mommy has been Benson for a long time and I don't think she wants to change it now."

Noah nods. "Mommy is super old."

Rafael smirks. It's not really an insult considering 'super old' to Noah is anyone beyond puberty. 

"So I can't be Barba like you?"

"I don't know, mijo. That's something we would have to talk to Mommy about."

"Or you can be Benson like us! That would be easier cause it's only one person to change," Noah proposes as logically as a five year old can. 

Rafael nods, sensing that Noah's curiosity has been satisfied at least for the moment. "Maybe. Again, this is something we need to talk about with Mommy. And speaking of Mommy, she texted me that she'll be home soon, so let's go get your bath done so you can play with her when she gets here, alright?"

Noah jumps off his lap, running towards the back of the apartment. "Okay! I'm getting my cars to play in the tub!"

Rafael smiles and shakes his head at the energetic child. He quickly finishes the note-taking Noah had interrupted then packs his papers into his briefcase. The rest of his ADA work will have to wait. He's on dad duty now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mijo: Spanish for 'my son'


	3. Ice Cream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for the weekly drabble prompt from thebarsondaily (tumblr) : ice cream  
> Warning: major character death! For this chapter only.
> 
> I don't know what happened- this is super angsty. I cried writing it. I'm so sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst warning! Prepare for sadness. The next chapter is fluffy again- go read it!

It was their special treat, just for the two of them. Any time Rafael was able to pick Noah up from daycare and eventually school, they would stop by the old fashioned diner and order ice cream sundaes. 

Sometimes they would have heavy man-to-man type discussions. Other times they would dissect the plot of Star Wars or a super hero movie. Or just enjoy silliness. 

On rare occasions they would eat in silence. Noah always knew it was a bad day for his father if he asked for butterscotch. That's what his mom would get if she happened to accompany her boys to the diner. 

Today is a butterscotch day. 

"Are you okay, Papì?"

Rafael wants to brush it off with an 'I'm fine', but resists. He promised Olivia he'd take care of Noah. Body and soul. 

"I miss your mom extra today, Noh."

"Why?" 

Rafael smiles sadly. "It's our anniversary, kind of. We met eleven years ago today."

"When you worked Uncle Sonny's job?" Carisi left the NYPD for the DAs office shortly after he passed the bar. When Barba resigned, Carisi took over Special Victims. 

Barba nods. "I mean, I always miss her. But special days are harder."

"Yeah," Noah agrees. "Or when I learn something new. But then I remember what Doctor L helped me figure out."

"What's that, buddy?"

"Mom's in heaven watching us all the time so she gets to see everything we do. Like a tv show."

Rafael blinks to keep his tears at bay. "The Noah and Papì Show."

"No, The Noah and Raf Show. That's what she always called you."

Rafael nods and swallows hard. No one has called him Raf since Olivia. "I like that idea," Barba says around the lump in his throat. He reaches out and pulls his son into his side, murmuring into his hair, "I love you so much Noah. You're so much like your mom- you have her big heart."

"And your smart mouth!"

They share a laugh. Olivia always said that; when Noah started talking he got blamed for anything sassy that came out of the toddler's mouth. 

"I love you too, Papì. Now let's finish our ice cream. I want pizza for dinner!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am purposely vague with the details here- otherwise it was getting way too long. I *might* expand this into a full story but only when I need a good cry.


	4. Texts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by a post on tumblr and resulting discussion with Fearlessbenson.

It had been one of those weeks. Noah was teething so no one was getting any sleep. All of the cases they were working seemed to have an unpredictable twist. And they were short staffed as Carisi did last minute prep for the bar exam. 

But now it was Friday, and in a mere ten hours she would hand over the SVU reins to Sergeant Dodds and turn off her phone until Monday. 

She just has to get through a seminar at 1PP with Dodds Senior and the commanders of SVU in the other boroughs. On approximately three hours of broken sleep. She's hopeful the seminar wraps up early. 

Stopping at a coffee shop around the corner from headquarters for a final pick-me-up, Liv idly scrolls through her Facebook feed while waiting in line.

She smiles to herself at the numerous pictures of babies, parents showing off milestones and chubby cheeks. 

When she gets to the front of the line, she orders the largest, most caffeinated item on the menu. (She knows this because it's what Barba starts his day with pretty much every morning.)

On the three minute walk from Starbucks to One Police Plaza she almost gets hit by a bike messenger, steps in a puddle, and gets stuck behind a group of tourists blocking the entire sidewalk. 

'At least my coffee survived,' she thinks to herself as she goes through the security line and checks her weapon. 

Gathering her belongings on the other side of the metal detector, she takes a moment to check her phone. There's an unread message from Barba. 

'Missed you last night, can't wait for this weekend.'

Liv smiles. No one would suspect it, but her boyfriend was very open and sweet about their relationship. 

'Me too. On both counts.' She replies, then makes her way to the elevator. Smirking to herself she sends another message, then slips her phone in her pocket. 

'Make sure you focus and get all your work done today...I have plans for you this weekend.'

Stepping onto the elevator, she makes small talk with a couple of cops she recognizes. The caffeine is starting to work its magic and by the time she makes it to the conference room she feels almost human. 

Until someone barrels past her from behind, causing her to stumble. She almost drops her cup and looks up, glaring at the culprit. 

It's Deputy Chief Dodds. 

"Good morning, Lieutenant," he greets jovially, not even acknowledging her clearly frazzled state. "Looking forward to getting all the SVU commanders on the same page, objective-wise."

Olivia wonders for the thousandth time how he can always be so political and clueless. She just nods politely, and rolls her eyes when he calls out to someone across the room and heads in their direction. 

Feeling her phone vibrate in her pocket, she takes it out to see another message from Barba. 

'Paperwork just got a lot more interesting. I'm going to work through lunch.'

Sitting down at her assigned seat at the large conference table, she barely holds in a groan looking at the schedule for the day. The last session doesn't even start until 3:30. So much for getting out early on a Friday. 

Liv sends Barba a message. 

'Babe. I need motivation not to kill anyone today.'

The reply indicator pops up immediately and she takes a drink while waiting for his response. 

'I can't fuck you if you're in prison.'

Shocked, she almost chokes on her coffee and quickly goes into the hallway, then spends a full minute coughing and trying to get her breathing under control. 

Quickly checking the time she decides to call him. 

"Barba." He must not have checked the caller ID. 

She skips any pleasantries. "You mean to tell me not only are you going to fail to get the murder charges dismissed you won't even give me conjugal visits? I'm not sure if I'm more disappointed in your hypothetical failure as a lawyer or a boyfriend."

Barba barks out a laugh. "How about this? You make it through the day without committing any felonies and I promise I'll be at your beck and call all weekend."

"Day or night?" she clarifies cheekily. 

"Day or especially night."

She notices the others start to settle in for the seminar. "Ugh, I can't wait. I gotta go, babe. It's about to start."

"Have fun!" he practically sings. 

Liv grumbles in response and returns to her seat in the conference room. She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly reminding herself, 'one more day'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspiration texts:  
> Person a: babe I need motivation not to kill anyone today
> 
> Person b: I can't fuck you in prison


	5. Is There A Reason You're Naked In My Bed?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia comes home to something unexpected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from all-things-raul-esparza: is there a reason you're naked in my bed?

Olivia Benson had seen her share of crazy, being a cop in New York and all. But tonight had to be up there on the list of craziest ever. 

The superstitious might blame the full moon, but whatever the cause, the Sixteenth Precinct was in chaos. 

A rash of flashers had taken over the holding cells, and it seemed like every one of them was going to put up a fight. Legal Aid was fighting with other defence attorneys for rooms to speak with their clients, unis were trying to keep the peace, and detectives were juggling four or five witnesses each, trying to sort out statements and lineups while the events were still fresh. 

Olivia was trying to supervise everything while keeping the higher ups apprised of their progress in the highly publicized case. She spent the evening tethered to her desk via the phone cord, and had lost track of her cell phone at some point during the night. 

With some semblance of order returned to the squad room just after midnight, she sent her detectives home and after searching high and low for her phone she finally located it under her office couch. The battery was dead. Deciding to wait and charge it at home, she left for home as well, eager to kiss her son and fall into bed. 

The apartment was completely dark when she got home, which was the first indication that something was amiss. Lucy generally left at least the kitchen light on for her. 

The second sign was the utter destruction of her living room: toys everywhere, throw pillows and blankets haphazardly on the floor, and a trail of crumbs that suspiciously looked like cookies. 

Moving into the back of the apartment she saw the mess extended to the bathroom where half a dozen wet towel were draped in various places, and the tub was still half full of water with Noah's bath toys floating sadly. 

In too much shock to process anything, Liv automatically steps into Noah's room. Unlike the rest of the apartment it is tidy, only a few books out of place. 

Lucy is conspicuously absent from the day bed she occupies on her occasional overnight stays, but Noah is sleeping soundly in his crib, oddly wearing a button up shirt, dress pants and suspenders instead of pajamas. 

Still more shocked than anything, she goes into the only other room in the apartment, her bedroom. 

Rafael Barba is laying face down across her bed, seemingly covered only by a sheet and sound asleep. 

The mess in the rest of the apartment makes more sense now, but why exactly he is here taking care of her son and trashing her house is questionable. 

"I really hope you have a good explanation for this," she speaks normally, arms crossed. The man on her bed doesn't even flinch. 

Pursing her lips, she takes her phone out of her pocket and plugs it into the cord dangling off her night stand. 

Barba still hasn't moved a muscle. A very defined, exposed muscle. 

Too curious to wait any longer, she puts out one foot and kicks his feet that are hanging off one side of the bed. He immediately startles, rolling onto his back and rubbing his face in an effort to wake up. 

"Liv? Are ya home?"

"Is there a reason you're naked in my bed?"

"I'm not naked. I'm still wearing my boxers."

"Fine. Is there a reason you're HALF naked in my bed? What are you doing here anyway? Where's Lucy? What the hell happened to my apartment?"

Slowly Barba pulls himself into a sitting position, leaning against the head board. "Shit. I'm sorry I didn't get it cleaned up before you got home. I meant to after I was sure Noah was asleep but I guess I was more tired than I thought. I must have fallen asleep right away." He looks at her wonderingly, eyes still heavy with sleep. "How do you do it every night?"

Liv smirks. "It gets easier over time. But seriously- what happened?"

He holds out his arm, beckoning her to his side. "C'mere."

She looks skeptical, but removes her work clothes and slides into bed next to him in her underwear. He spends the next several minutes explaining the events of the evening. 

Lucy had suddenly gotten sick (she suspected food poisoning) and when she was unable to get ahold of Liv rither on her cell or office phones she called Barba in desperation. While they had been dating for a few months, and Lucy knew him well, Barba's interactions with Noah were always in Liv's company- he'd never had to do dinner, bath, and bed solo with no guidance. 

"Well that explains the mess, and the destruction, but why is Noah dressed like he's going to church?"

Barba chuckles, then corrects her. "He's actually dressed like he's going to court. Or 'wook cwothes' as he so adorably described it. I tried to get him in pajamas but he was crying that he wanted to dress like me and at that point I would have knit him a sweater if it meant he'd go to sleep. I managed to convince him he didn't need a tie until morning, so good luck with that."

She smiles, and shifts over him, sitting on his thighs. Putting her hands on his shoulders she says, "Thank you, Raf. I'm sorry I was unreachable. You have no idea how much it means to me that you did this tonight."

"You mean feed your kid junk food and destroy your apartment?" he blushes, aware that his childcare skills need a lot of practice. 

Liv shakes he head. "You took care of him. You gave him probably the most fun he's had in his entire life. And while the house does look like a tornado hit, we can fix that in the morning. Noah is asleep, safe, and happy. That's all that really matters."

Searching her eyes, he whispers, " You mean that?"

Liv nods, then leans in for a kiss. "Mmm hmm," she affirms, then kisses him leisurely for a long moment. 

"Remember that when you see the kitchen."


	6. Close Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My take on the prompt from @thebarsondaily weekly drabble prompt, close call. 
> 
> After Liv warns him the threat has escalated, Barba ignores her and goes home instead of a hotel.

Olivia pulls back the hospital curtain just enough to slip through. 

Barba is reclined on the bed. His shirt is unbuttoned, showing where the bullet hit his bulletproof vest. A bruise is already spreading from the middle of his chest. 

"You were right." Barba breaks the silence, but doesn't move the arm he has draped over his eyes. 

"I didn't want to be." 

Barba smirks. "You gonna yell at me?"

"I was planning on it." Her voice is suddenly shaky.

He looks up then, surprised by the tears sliding down her cheeks. 

"Liv, I'm okay. It was just a close call," he says, awkwardly sitting up. 

She scoffs. "You were shot in the chest! That is not okay!"

The last time he saw her this distraught Noah had measles. 

"Liv. What's going on?"

She shakes her head, looking at the floor. "I almost lost you," she whispers. 

"I'm right here, Liv. And I'm not going anywhere. You're never going to lose me," he says, hoping she gets his underlying meaning. 

Raising her head she brings her eyes to his, questioning. 

"It's going to take more than some punk with a gun or an IAB Captain for you to lose me." There. He said it.

She steps closer, reaching out to squeeze his hand. He returns the gesture. 

"You stole my line."

She brings her other hand to cup his jaw, looking deep into his eyes. He's holding his breath, unsure of what is happening.

"This case, the threats- I just, it made me realize what- who- I really want." She leans in and places a soft kiss on his lips. "In case that wasn't clear enough, I want you."

He lets out a relieved breath, and smiles. "Well, who am I to deny the lady what she wants?"


	7. A Final Push

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from Fearlessbenson: This is doubt the stupidest plan you've ever had. Of course I'm in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, while neither Liv nor Rafael are actually in this fic, it's 100% Barson.

"I'm tellin' ya Rollins, they just need that final push and...bam! They're Benba!"

Amanda gives Carisi a confused look. "Benba?"

"Yeah, ya know like Brangelina? Benson and Barba. Benba."

She snorts. "First of all, no. Benba sounds terrible. They would totally be Barson. Except second of all, no. I'm not seeing it. Liv needs someone who can be a father to Noah. Trust me, as a single mom that's the number one requirement for her now. Barba's not one to hang around sticky fingers and The Wiggles in his down time."

Carisi clicks his tongue at her. "You're wrong. The counselor has a heart of gold- he just hides it very well. I know if they could just get some time alone in a romantic environment they won't be able to deny their feelings any longer."

Amanda starts to respond but Carisi holds up a hand to stop her. 

"Are ya gonna help me or what?"

Amanda rolls her eyes. "This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you've ever had. Of course I'm in. Somebody's got to make sure you don't get shot when this blows up in your face."


	8. I Got You A Present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set after Parents Nightmare (16x22) when Rafael comes back from St Barth's. 
> 
> Prompt from raul-e-esparza: I got you a present

Olivia looked up from her pile of paperwork at the sound of a knock at her office door. A smile spread across her face and she got up to welcome her visitor. 

"Hey, I didn't think I'd see you until Monday. You're technically still on vacation," she says as she crosses the room to pull Barba into a casual but warm embrace. She's not usually one to hug at the office, but he's been gone and she missed him. 

Barba returns the hug with one arm- the other holding a large shopping bag. When they pull back after a few seconds he lifts it and says, "I dropped my bags off at home and then came over, I wanted to see you tonight. I got you a present."

Her face lights up even more and she says, "You didn't have to bring me anything."

Barba shrugs, slightly embarrassed. He doesn't want to admit it but he'd spent most of the week on a tropical island thinking of a certain Sergeant in New York. Everything he did and saw reminded him of her, he couldn't help but buy a few things. 

"It's not much. Just a couple things that I think you'll enjoy. Besides- you were here working while I was sunning myself by the ocean; I'd feel guilty if I didn't bring you something."

She nods, touched at his thoughtfulness. "Well I'm not going to say no to presents!"

They move over to the couch where he hands her the shopping bag. The first item she pulls out is a small straw hat with a blue band. 

"That's for Noah," he explains, "I know you said you wanted to take him to the beach this summer, they're the best sun hats; all the moms at the resort were talking about them and they are made locally..."

Olivia reaches out and puts her hand on his arm to stop his rambling. "Thank you," she says softly. "It's perfect. He's got such fair skin he'll definitely have to wear a hat. And this is adorable! I can't wait to try it on him."

"There's one for you too," Barba says, pointing at the bag. 

Olivia reaches in and pulls out a similar hat, this one with a black band. She takes her glasses off her head and puts the hat on. "Perfect."

Barba swallows, nodding his agreement. He barely holds in a comment about how she's always perfect. "There's more," he says hoarsely, hoping she doesn't notice. 

Leaving the hat on, she pulls out a small drawstring bag. Glancing at him curiously she opens the bag and tips the contents into her palm. A delicate chain with three charms: a tiny gold sand dollar, a delicate gold star fish, and a dangling stone that Olivia immediately recognizes as Noah's birthstone. 

She couldn't stop the tears that come to her eyes if she tried. Speechless, she just stares at the gift, wondering what it means. 

Barba can't handle the silence so he starts talking. "Uh...I know you always wear your Fearlessness one, but I thought this might be nice for casual days at home. The stone is-"

"Citrine," she interrupts. 

Barba nods. "Yeah, Noah's birthstone."

"I love it," she says softly. "Thank you, Rafael. It's so beautiful."

She inspects the charms for a few seconds before holding it out to him. "Will you put it on me?" she asks, taking her hat off and shifting so her back is toward him. 

He nods and swallows hard. Why did it feel hot in here all of a sudden? 

He carefully opens the clasp and slips the necklace over her head. Liv pulls her hair to the side, clearing his view. It takes a few tries but he gets it securely fastened. 

"There," he says. 

She turns back toward him, one hand automatically going to the dangling charms. 

When he looks up at her, his stomach drops. "Liv- I didn't mean to make you cry."

She chuckles at herself, wiping her cheeks self consciously. "I know, it's nothing bad. I- I really missed you this week. Noah's been extra clingy with starting at daycare- it's like he thinks I'm going to leave him there. Kidnapping cases are always so stressful... it's just been a long week. I was home for the evening with Noah then came back after he went to sleep to catch up on some of this paperwork that never seems to end. I'm exhausted and then you show up being so sweet and you brought me and my son presents and you wouldn't believe how much that means to me-"

He cuts her off this time, by pressing his lips to hers. By the time she can process what is happening his forehead is resting on hers and he says, "I missed you too."

She smiles and pulls back so she can see him clearly. "I hope you got one of those hats too, Raf."

He quirks an eyebrow. "Yes I did...why?"

"Because you're going to need it when we take Noah to the beach this summer."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to figure out Noah's birthday and am guessing it's sometime in November, which would make his birthstone citrine.


	9. Bruises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amanda sees something and says something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw the prompt 'bruises' for another fandom on tumblr and this popped into my head.

"Jesus Christ, Liv! What the hell happened to you?"

Olivia sucks in a breath at the horrified voice of her friend and colleague, cursing her decision not to change in the shower stall. 

She turns to Amanda, avoiding eye contact. "It's nothing, it's kind of embarrassing actually."

Rollins, not used to seeing this shifty behavior from the lieutenant, is immediately on guard. "Did Barba do this?" she asks carefully, indicating the large bruise that covers one side of her upper back, and two sets of finger-shaped bruises on her arms. 

Olivia immediately answers with a strong, "No," making eye contact. "I know what this looks like and what it probably sounds like but please believe me."

Amanda gives her a skeptical look and points to her arms. "Liv, you didn't give yourself hand-shaped bruises. Just tell me what happened so I don't have to go kick anyone's ass."

Olivia's cheeks flush and she nods. "The PG version is I slipped in the shower and hit my back on the faucet."

Amanda smirks and prompts, "And the director's cut?"

She gingerly pulls a clean shirt on, then blows out a breath. "We were having sex in the shower, I lost my balance and slipped at the same time he lost his footing, and I fell. He grabbed my arms to try and keep me from falling but obviously it wasn't very effective."

Amanda tries but can't keep a straight face. "Wow. Who knew Barba was into shower sex?"

Liv smirks, glad Amanda isn't going to make a big deal out of it. "Not anymore. He's traumatized. I'll be lucky if we ever have sex anywhere but a bed ever again."


	10. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia is feeling guilty about letting someone get close enough to threaten Barba outside the courthouse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Join me in ignoring Tuckson, won't you? Established Barson, set sometime after Intersecting Lives (17x22).

Nightmares are something they both deal with regularly, and though sometimes that means twice the missed sleep, it also means that they understand how to help each other deal with them. 

For Olivia they are vivid and harsh, but she tends to forget them quickly, only the absolute worst sticking in her mind after she wakes with a start. 

Rafael's nightmares are more subtle; he rarely wakes in the middle of them. Rather when his alarm goes off in the morning he will be saved from the horrible scenarios his mind has conjured: twisting his past and present with horrifying cases he's tried. 

Tonight, they had a quiet evening at her place: some time with Noah before he went to bed, a simple pasta dinner by candlelight, and reruns of old tv shows. They went to bed early-ish, and made love before dressing minimally and falling asleep, snuggled together. 

A few hours later Rafael wakes to a familiar noise coming from Noah's room: his water bottle dropping off the side of his bed. Dropping a quick kiss on the crown of Olivia's head, he slides out from between the sheets and sleepily makes his way to the next bedroom. 

He misses the frown on her face and the restless moving around when her subconscious notices she's alone in bed. In her mind an innocuous dream about a picnic in the park has taken a dark turn and all of a sudden she hears shots ring out. 

Crying, gasping for breath, Olivia wakes suddenly and sits up in an attempt to orient herself. Puzzled that Rafael hasn't yet placed a calming hand on her back, rubbing and reassuring her that everything is fine, she looks over at his side of the bed and frowns when she sees it empty. 

The nightmare still at the forefront of her mind, it hits her: it wasn't just a dream. The scene in the park really happened. Rafael was gunned down in front of her and she didn't do anything to stop it. He bled out in front of her. 

A wave of nausea washes over her and she throws the blankets off, stumbling to the ensuite bathroom. She doesn't realize how much noise she's making until she notices the sound of her sobs echoing in the small room. 

Hoping she hadn't woken Noah, she splashes cold water on her face, trying to calm herself down. She takes a few ragged breaths then screams when a hand lands unexpectedly on her shoulder. 

Barba draws back in surprise. "Liv- it's Rafael." Trying not to crowd her and inadvertently cause a panic attack, he steps back into the doorway and raises his hands in a defensive posture. 

"Raf? But- you're? Oh god it was just a dream," she says before launching herself at him. 

She starts crying again at the feeling of his arms holding her close, rubbing up and down her back, and his husky whisper that he's here, everything's fine, and she's okay. 

He simply holds her for a few minutes as she clings to him. Eventually her tears slow and once her breathing is back to normal she pulls back. 

Rafael looks at her, worry written all over his face. She's never been like this after a nightmare before, at least not when he's there. 

She gives him a small smile, trying to reassure him that she's fine. "I'm just going to wash my face," she murmurs. "Then I'll be out."

He nods, still worried but trusting her judgment. He steps back into the bedroom, staring at the twisted sheets for a moment before fixing them and crawling back into his side. He reaches over and turns his bedside lamp on the dimmest setting, assuming Liv will not want to go straight back to sleep. 

When she emerges a few minutes later some of her colouring is back but her eyes are still bright with tears. She climbs in bed and immediately scoots over to Rafael, who pulls her into his side. 

"Better now?" He asks quietly, running his fingers through her hair. 

She nods against him, contemplating her next words. 

"We were in the park this time," she begins after a few moments. Since the threat outside the courthouse she's been having variations on the same dream: Rafael is attacked in front of her and she doesn't do anything until it's too late. "We were having a picnic. Noah was playing with something in the grass nearby and we were sitting on a blanket. I noticed these two guys lingering nearby but I didn't call it in. They walked up to us. One pulled a gun, and shot you in the chest. I was frozen. I didn't do anything! When I finally reached out, you were gone. That's when I woke up."

His shirt is soaked from the tears sliding down her cheeks. 

"And I wasn't in bed so you thought I was dead?"

"Yeah. I knew it was a nightmare but I also thought it was a memory. Usually when I wake up like that you're right there."

There is no blame in her voice, but he feels the need to explain himself regardless. "Noah knocked his water bottle onto the floor and the thump woke me up. I went to put it back and check on him- he was asleep. I don't think I was gone for more than three minutes."

They're quiet for a few moments, Rafael's continued stroking of her hair soothing them both. 

"Think you can sleep now?" he asks. 

She opens her mouth to answer but a yawn escapes instead. Barba chuckles. 

"I think that answers my question," he murmurs, reaching out to turn off the light. 

They shift around getting comfortable, ending up with Rafael spooning Liv. She hugs his arm and relishes the feeling of him pressed along her back. 

He's almost asleep when he hears a faint whisper, "Thank you for being here."

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

At his answer she smiles and drifts off, thoughts of death threats and gunmen gone, at least until morning.


	11. I'll let you go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: If you really want to I'll let you go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This goes AU somewhere around mid-season 17 and this scene is at the end of Manhattan Transfer.

'You and I are done talking.'

His words seem to echo in her head, over and over. She can't get his look of betrayal out of her mind either. 

The wine bottles on the rack remain untouched tonight- she fears if she starts she won't stop. Her heart is breaking, and it's her own damn fault. 

She's sitting on her couch, in the dark, holding her son and watching the DVD menu for Frozen play over and over, remote out of reach and unwilling to disturb Noah. 

So she just sits, breathes in his beautiful baby scent, and tries to figure out how exactly she went from having Barba as her best friend to him unwilling to speak with her in what seemed like a minute. 

Well- that's one lie to herself. They have been on rocky ground since the Terrence Reynolds case. She thought things were getting better after the hostage situation at the townhouse, but after seeing his face tonight? She's not sure. 

Another lie is that it's not tearing her apart. He'd been her rock during hard times for the past few years, and now when she was dealing with the worst flashbacks and nightmares since the immediate aftermath of her abduction, she felt so alone and couldn't even call him. 

Fuck, why did it have to shake out like this? Why did she have to pick Tucker to be the one she leaned on? She knew it was bad timing and not fair to him, but after being grilled by Barba in front of the grand jury she found herself in an unfamiliar bar and stumbled upon the IAB Captain. 

One thing led to another, and before she knew it she was hooking up with Ed Tucker. He was good to her, good in bed, and refused to talk shop. Easy and uncomplicated. Under the radar. Just exactly what she needed to escape from her hectic life for a little while. 

A knock at her door breaks her out of her reverie. Frowning, she carefully stands and walks over to the door, cradling Noah against her. She looks through the peephole, surprised to see the man of her thoughts standing there, looking apprehensive. 

Shifting Noah's weight to one arm, she unlocks the door and swings it open, putting a finger to her lips and glancing down at her son. 

"Come in, just give me a few minutes to put him down and I'll meet you in the living room. Feel free to turn on a light," she whispers, turning around at his nod of acknowledgment and going to tuck Noah into his bed. 

She takes longer than probably is necessary, checking his diaper twice, blankets, the lock on the window (that she never opens anyway), and anything else she can think of to stall. 

Finally she gives Noah one last kiss, takes a deep breath, and goes to face the music. 

In the living room, she finds Barba sitting on the couch, having turned on a lamp and the kitchen lights and turned off the movie. 

She stops in the kitchen to put the kettle on. "I'm making tea- do you want some? Or something else?" she asks, trying to delay their conversation a little bit longer. 

Busying herself with the tea, she doesn't hear him enter the kitchen. When he answers, he's right behind her and it makes her jump. 

"Tea is good- sorry, I didn't mean to sneak up on you," he apologizes, very aware of what memories that evokes. 

She shakes her head, "It's okay, I'm always jumpy at night," she acknowledges with a wry smile. She reaches up for another mug for his tea, intentionally choosing his favorite, one that Noah painted in various shades of green. 

"What do you want to talk about? I'm assuming you've decided we can talk now?" she asks, letting her frustration show. 

Rafael takes a deep breath, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck subconsciously. "Yeah. I'm sorry about earlier- I should have handled that differently." He pauses, looking at her, feeling the ache of their distance. "I was just so shocked. I mean- I kind of thought... After last week... Well, I didn't know you were seeing anyone."

Her heart clenches at how insecure and quiet his voice is, and she turns around to look at him. 

"I'm not," she shakes her head when he raises his eyebrows at that. "Not anymore. I... Had a thing with him... but lately I just... needed some space, I guess."

Actually, she had realized that she didn't want to waste anymore time with someone she couldn't picture growing old with, but she didn't want to get into that yet. No use sending him running for the hills before they even go on a date. 

A confused and frustrated look crosses Rafael's face. "Why didn't you say that in my office?"

She gets defensive. "Because you had already made up your mind! You were too upset and weren't going to believe anything I had to say."

"Liv... " he trails off. 

She shakes her head, turning away from him when the kettle boils. "I never would have kissed you if I was involved with someone else." She says quietly, a hint of hurt colouring her tone. "I can't believe you think I would."

"I don't, really. I just, I let my feelings take over, and it was the jealousy talking. I'm having a hard time believing that it actually happened, we haven't had a chance to talk about it." He takes her elbow and gently turns her to look at him, then adds in barely more than a whisper, "I've been wanting this- you- for a really long time."

Olivia closes her eyes, and whispers back, "Me too, even though it might not seem like it."

Rafael reaches out and takes her hand, squeezing gently, drawing her gaze back to his. "I'm sorry I overreacted. Tomorrow we need to go over all the evidence and do our due diligence with Tucker-" at this she pulls back, ready to defend the IAB Captain but Rafael raises his hand to stop her and continues, "I'm trusting you- we will give him the benefit of the doubt but we have to look into it. It will look like we're covering for him if we don't, and then the investigation will be 'transferred' to another department and you know it's likely to get buried."

Olivia nods, she doesn't trust anyone else to not be on the take. "Fine. I really don't think he's involved but you're right- we have to look into it regardless. But that doesn't mean we stop looking at the church- that's exactly what the Monsignor wants."

"Yes, I'm sure that's exactly why he came to see me. But enough about that- it's for tomorrow. Tonight we have something else to discuss."

Olivia leans back against the counter and crosses her arms, waiting for him to continue, he obviously has something on his mind. 

Rafael runs his fingers through his hair and lets out a sigh. "I...shit," he chuckles wryly under his breath. "I had a whole speech planned but now..." he looks up at Olivia and shrugs. "I don't know what you want. And that's throwing me off because usually it feels like I can read your mind. So I'll just tell you what I want, and then we can go from there."

He takes a deep breath and looks right into her eyes. "I want to take you out for dinner. Maybe to see a show. I want to go to the park with you and Noah. I want to kiss you again. But most of all, I want you to be happy. So if you don't want any of that, it's okay. If you don't want this I'll let you go."

"You would walk away just like that?"

He swallows hard, then nods. "I want you to be happy. I'll respect whatever you decide."

Liv purses her lips thoughtfully and says, "Okay."

His stomach drops at her response. As much as it hurts, he will honour her wishes. He bows his head and bites his lip in an attempt to hold in the emotion. 

"Okay," Rafael repeats in a whisper and turns to exit the kitchen. 

"Okay, I want all of it," she says as she reaches out and takes hold of his elbow preventing his escape. 

His eyes snap to hers, questioning. "Really?"

Olivia slides her hand from his elbow down to his hand and pulls him into her. Wrapping her other hand around the back of his neck she leans up slightly and kisses him slowly. 

"I want," she breathes out before kissing him again. "You."


	12. Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: from a tumblr post with the words 'I love you and I don't want to lose you. Because my life has been better since the day I found you.' and the ensuing discussion with @fearlessbenson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled with the end of this for over a week before I just decided to go with this. When in doubt, add Fin.

Three days. It had been three days since they had a fight and she told him to leave. 

A stupid fight that started over something she can't even remember now. It's definitely not the first time they've fought, but it is the first since they admitted to the feelings they both have. 

For the hundredth time she's wondering if they should have changed their relationship. If they shouldn't have been content with being best friends. Maybe they could go back to when it was easier?

Then she thinks about the moments she'd never have and wouldn't trade them for anything. 

The weekends spent together when he doesn't shave or wear anything but pajamas for two days straight. 

When he works late and she's home with Noah and they have the most random conversations via text. 

Not to mention their sex life. There was a time she never thought she'd ever be able to enjoy sex again. He ignited a flame that only seems to grow with time. 

No, she doesn't want to go back. She wants to apologize and beg for forgiveness. 

She gathers her purse, keys and phone- intending to stop on the way over to his office and get his favourite coffee. But before she even takes a step- there's a knock on her office door. 

Sighing, she goes to open it, and finds a uni holding an elegant arrangement of flowers. 

Taking the flowers and returning to her desk, Olivia sets the flowers down and sniffs them, admiring the blooms for a long moment. Instead of the usual tiny card that comes standard from florists, there is a standard sized card attached to the vase. 

The front of the card shows an artsy image of the Manhattan skyline, and inside a photograph has been taped carefully to one side, a handwritten message from Barba on the other side. 

The picture is of the two of them- taken years ago, long before they got together. They're out at a bar with the squad, sitting much closer than they probably should have been. Olivia's arm is around Barba's shoulders, and they are both laughing. 

Feeling tears prick the corners of her eyes, she smiles and reads the message. 

'Liv,  
I love you and I don't want to lose you. Because my life has been better since the day I found you.  
Rafael'

A couple of tears slide down her cheeks but she quickly wipes them away, deciding she's going to skip the stop at the coffee shop and head straight for Rafael's office.

"Fin!" She calls, exiting her office at a brisk pace. "Hold down the fort."

Fin spins around in his chair. He saw the flowers arrive a few minutes before and knows exactly where the Lieutenant is headed. "You got it, Boss Lady," he replies. 

As she boards the elevator her phone buzzes signalling a text from Fin. 'Go get him, Liv.'

Olivia just smiles and shakes her head, pressing the close door button. She intends to do just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So once again I write Barson without actually have both Liv and Barba in the fic, let alone interacting with each other. *shrugs*


	13. The Dress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liv second guesses her choice of wedding dress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for the wonderful fearlessbenson who got me hooked on this song and it's Barson feels!  
> Inspired by the song 'You Can Still Wear White' by Matt Kennon

Olivia Benson never thought she'd see the day. She had hoped, dreamed, and wished upon a star once or twice; but never had she thought she would actually see it happen. 

She was getting married. 

And not just by a judge at the courthouse, either. While it would still be a fairly small affair, the Barba-Benson nuptials were going to have it all: white dress, three tiered cake, and wedding party. 

Noah insisted in all his two year old stubbornness that he was going to be both the ring bearer and the flower girl. The plan was to tie the rings into his basket of flower petals. 

There was one aspect of the wedding plans that didn't quite sit well with Olivia. The dress. The white dress that had her and Amanda and Melinda all in tears at the bridal shop months before because it was so perfect. It fit like a glove off the rack so she bought it on the spot, bringing it back to their apartment in a heavy duty bag to keep it out of the sight of her fiancé. 

But now, a few weeks away from the big day, it just doesn't feel right. She feels like she's faking something, trying to be something she hasn't been in a very long time: pure and virginal. 

And considering she was now eight weeks pregnant, she thinks maybe it's best if she cuts her losses with that dress and goes out to get something different. More conservative. Less white. 

Sniffling, she pulls the garment bag out of the back of her side of the closet and lays it out on the bed. Taking a shuddering breath she starts to open the zipper. 

Soft white silk and lace is revealed. It really is a beautiful dress. 

Just before she grabs the hanger to pull the dress out, she hears the front door open and close. Rafael. She quickly closes the zipper and shoves the bag back into the closet. 

She goes into the bathroom to splash water on her face and try to calm down, but instead the tears start streaming down her face. 

When Rafael finds her, Liv is sitting on the floor leaning against the tub. He doesn't hesitate to sit next to her, wrapping one arm around her and pulling her into him. 

They sit like that for a few minutes. When Olivia has stopped crying and whispers an apology, Barba replies, "Mi amor, there's no need to apologize. You can tell me anything, remember. What's wrong?"

She doesn't know how to tell him without sounding like a hormonal pregnant lady so she just shrugs and hopes he can fill in he blanks like he so often does. "I've been thinking about the wedding."

Barba tries to quell his panic but it's not working very well, his voice comes out high pitched and squeaky. "What about the wedding? You're not...having second thoughts about marrying me are you?"

Liv pulls out of his arms so she can look at him properly and the love in her eyes is unmistakable. He feels his heartbeat slow down. 

"No, I am absolutely positive that I want to be your wife. It's..." she trails off, looking away from him. Barba just waits, giving her time. "I think I should get a different dress."

Barba narrows his eyes in confusion. "For the reception?" He remembers flipping through one of her bridal magazines that discussed the pros and cons of having two dresses: one for photos and one for ease of movement on the dance floor. Liv had scoffed at the article, declaring it for 'spoiled rich kids with too much of daddy's money to spend'. 

"No, that's a ridiculous waste of money. I think I should return the dress I have and get a different one."

"But- you love that dress. You said it was perfect and made you cry because it felt like a fairy tale. Why do you want a new dress, Liv?"

She can feel the tears starting to burn behind her eyes again. "I just think it's not the right... fit."

Rafael doesn't want to ask, but can't think of anything else that would cause this reaction. "Is it too tight? I didn't notice you were starting to show yet."

A couple of tears trickle down her cheeks when she shakes her head. "No, it's not that. The cut is very forgiving and I'm not showing yet anyway. I think maybe I was caught up in a moment and should have picked something more appropriate for me."

"Liv, I'm lost here. It's a wedding dress. You're a bride. What makes it inappropriate?"

"It's white," she mumbles. 

"Sorry?"

"It's too white." He's looking at her completely confused, but obviously trying very hard to figure out why this is a problem. "White is a symbol of purity. Virginity. Youth. I am none of those things," she says, spelling it out for him. 

Dumbfounded, Rafael doesn't know what to say. After a few moments he tries. 

"Liv- you're- maybe you're not the youngest bride of the season, but I'm not the youngest groom either. That doesn't mean we shouldn't get married. Or have our wedding the way we want it. How many people do you think are actually virgins when they wear a white wedding dress? I'd say less than ten percent in this day and age. It doesn't matter. None of your sexual history makes me think any less of you or makes me want you any less. I love you so much, baby.

"And you're wrong about not being pure. You have the most pure heart and soul of anyone I have ever met. Even after all of the hardships in your life, seeing the worst that humanity has to offer, your love is so pure. You can still wear white. Wear what makes you happy, you're only going to have one wedding."

She smiles through her tears, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I love you, Rafi. I don't know what I did to deserve you but I hope I keep doing it because I don't want to ever be without you."

Rafael wraps his arms around Liv's waist, holding her securely. "You didn't have to do anything, I just love you. And we are going to live happily ever after with Noah and the baby, so you can have your fairy tale: white dress and all."


	14. Kiss Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a double prompt/request, for untapdtreasure who requested 'kiss me' and fearlessbenson who sent me the quote "Kiss me until I forget how terrified I am of everything wrong with my life."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Established Barson; don't think too hard on why Barba is working with another precinct or why he gets so dramatic. Just a little quick ficlet.

It was one of those rare evenings where Olivia got home on time, but Rafael was stuck at the office late going over testimony with detectives from another precinct.

By the time he gets home, Noah is in bed and Liv is curled up on the couch catching up on her shows while sipping her second glass of wine. 

He comes in all in a flurry: drops his briefcase by the door, kicks off his shoes, and immediately removes his blazer, draping it over the back of an armchair. 

"You wouldn't believe the incompetence of these detectives, Liv," he grumbles, heading straight for the shelf with his scotch. 

He continues to complain while pouring his drink, and takes a healthy gulp before heading back to the living room, where he deposits his glass on the coffee table. Too worked up to sit, he begins to pace, still voicing his frustrations. 

Olivia just listens, sipping on her wine, and can't help but smirk inwardly at the thought of how not too long ago he was complaining about her squad. 

She feels a shift in the air when he starts to make himself comfortable- removing first his vest. When he drapes the vest on top of his blazer and turns around to reveal her favourite set of suspenders, Olivia stops hearing the words he's saying. 

Next he removes his tie. She watches his long, nimble fingers loosen the knot and unconsciously licks her lips. 

He undoes the top few buttons of his shirt, still releasing his frustration about the apparent incompetence of the 2-3. 

As he slips the striped suspenders off his shoulders, Olivia gets to her feet and puts her glass down next to his, and swiftly moves up behind him. When he turns to pace back across the room, he has to stop short to avoid running into his girlfriend. 

He opens his mouth to say something but Olivia swallows any words that might have come out, kissing him deeply. 

She pulls back and tugs his shirt from his pants, then runs her fingers over his bare waist around to his lower back, rubbing gently. 

Groaning, he breathes out, "Kiss me until I forget how terrified I am of everything wrong with my life."

And she does. He doesn't have a coherent thought for the next hour, and when they finally collapse into bed, a pile of limbs and random articles of clothing that weren't necessary to remove, she murmurs in his ear, "Better now, baby?"

"Everything is perfect. My life is perfect. You are perfect."

She just smiles in response, happy that at least for tonight his stress is gone.


	15. Undercover Worry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barba worries when Liv has to go undercover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for my favourite anonymous tag reader, you know who you are ;)
> 
> Prompt: Barba worrying about Liv because she is undercover. 
> 
> (I wrote most of this at 2am so there's very little actual plot.)

Hour One

Its fine, he doesn't even really remember why he was so worried. Now that he's finished work for the day he can go home and enjoy a quiet evening in his own apartment and watch whatever he wants on tv without worrying about the potential for swearing and/or nudity. 

Hour Two

Sitting on his leather couch eating the spiciest curry he could find in his delivery area, Barba starts to wonder when exactly he could sing along to all of The Wiggles' songs and why it makes him vaguely sad to go a day without hearing them. 

Hour Three

Why hasn't he heard from her yet? Not that he's worried. Because that would be ridiculous. It's only been a couple of hours and she's not in any danger.

He decides to just go on with his evening routine and put all thoughts of the current operation at the back of his mind. 

Hour Four

When had his evenings started to revolve around playing blocks and reading bedtime stories? 

He can't seem to settle his mind so he sends Lucy a text, not able to pin down the feeling he gets when a dimly lit photo of Noah is her reply. 

The image of the little boy curled up with his stuffed puppy in one arm and dragon in the other makes him smile and simultaneously leaves him feeling a little hollow. 

Hour Five

He can't concentrate on the paperwork he brought home. Can't follow the storyline of the television show he's trying to watch. Can't stop staring at his phone, willing it to ring so he can hear her voice. 

Hour Six

He's frantic at this point; the meeting should not have taken this long. Something's happened to her, and no one knows they're together so the squad won't know to tell him right away. He needs to go to the precinct. 

Just as he's shoving his feet into the first pair of shoes in the closet his phone starts ringing in his hand. 

The relief he feels is short lived: it is Carisi's name flashing across his screen. He doesn't want to answer, doesn't want to hear the worst news possible. 

Slowly he accepts the call, barely able to choke out his own name. The voice on the other end of the line makes his knees go weak. 

"Hey, sorry it took so long for me to call- the witness was more reluctant than we anticipated and tried to run; my phone got smashed."

Letting out a shaky breath, he replies, "It's okay."

She pauses for a moment, considering his lack of response. "Raf? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. I'm just glad to hear your voice."

Liv smiles but knows he's not being completely truthful. "Right. Well, we're done here for tonight, want me to drop by your place?"

He's already halfway out the door when he answers. "Nah, I'll meet you at yours. Your bed's more comfortable."

She laughs at him, seeing through his excuse. "Right, well I'm gonna give Carisi his phone back now, see you soon."

"'Kay. Love you, Liv," he says effortlessly.

"Love you too."

He feels settled for the first time all day as he heads to her apartment, feeling like he's heading home.


	16. You are my world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluffy prompt from Fearlessbenson 'You are my world'.

"Liv? Are you alright? You've been awfully quiet this evening," Barba asks when he returns from tucking Noah into bed. The three year old was insistent that 'Raf' be the one to read his story tonight. 

Olivia is standing at the living room window with a cup of tea, staring out at the city lights but not really seeing anything. 

"Yeah, I've just been thinking about some things," she answers, leaning back into him when he comes up behind her and wraps his arms around her waist. 

"Oh?" he murmurs into her neck, causing goosebumps to break out on her skin. 

"I feel like you've blended so seamlessly into my life, it's hard to remember a time when you weren't here for bedtime stories and Sundays at the market."

He waits a moment to see if she's going to continue, but she just returns to sipping her tea. 

"That's a good thing, right?" Barba asks hesitantly, not entirely sure where she's going with this. 

"It is. I couldn't be happier that Noah has you to teach him everything with me. Plus I kinda like having you around."

Barba can hear the sincerity in her words, but he has a feeling that she's still holding back. He squeezes her gently and prompts, "But..."

Olivia sighs, she should have known he would see right through her. She gently moves out of his embrace to turn and face him. She speaks carefully, not wanting to freak him out. 

"But; despite how well you fit in my world, I feel like your world hasn't really changed."

"What do you mean? Of course it's changed- I spend most of my time here with you and Noah."

"Exactly. You spend all of your time HERE. I've been to your place once- and that was because we didn't want to wait to get back here to have sex. Your neighbours probably think you're just working overtime. And we never spend any time with your mother, she hasn't even met Noah!"

Barba just stares at her, then blinks once. "Olivia, don't you see: YOU are my world. You and Noah are the bright spots in my dreary existence and I just want to be around you, it doesn't matter where. I never really thought about inviting you to my place since all Noah's stuff is here and your place is much closer to the precinct. But if you'll help me child proof and get things to make Noah comfortable, I would love to have you two spend time there. As for my mother- we haven't been speaking regularly in a long time. She's-she blames me for Abuela's death. So I've been avoiding her, but not because I want to keep you apart. I want you in every part of my life, Liv. I'm sorry I haven't shown you that."

Barba takes Liv's hands in his, searching her eyes for understanding. 

She smiles and leans in for a kiss. "I don't care where we are either, I just want to make sure you are in this for the long term. Noah would be devastated if you disappeared one day."

Barba frames her face in his hands and states firmly, "Not going to happen. Te amo, eres mi mundo." (I love you, you are my world.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll have some more posted this week, stay tuned and let me know what you think! Also feel free to send me prompts here or on my tumblr (barsonaddict)


	17. God, Fate or Whatever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set loosely in Season 17 when Barba is getting threats. Established Barson.

"Where the hell is he?"

Olivia bursts through the waiting room door, directing her question to the group of SVU detectives huddled together. 

Fin steps toward her, speaking quickly to reassure his friend. "He's fine, Liv. It was just a graze."

Olivia shakes her head angrily. "I know that. I asked WHERE he is. I'm gonna kill the bastard myself."

Carisi, Dodds, and Rollins exchange worried glances. 

Fin steps closer and lays a hand on her arm. She's shaking. "Liv-"

"Don't 'Liv' me! If he wasn't so goddamn stubborn he wouldn't be in the damn hospital. I TOLD him not to go there. I fucking told him..." she trails off and chokes back a sob. 

Amanda clears her throat and steps closer. "He's in the ER waiting on discharge papers. C'mon, I'll show you where he is."

"Thank you," Olivia breathes out. They walk in silence until Amanda stops outside a curtained area at the far end of the ER. 

Olivia nods her thanks then pulls back the curtain just enough to slip through. 

Inside the cubicle, Barba is reclined in the hospital bed staring at the ceiling, his left upper arm covered in a large bandage. 

Seeing him has deflated her anger. Now as she approaches the bed, she shoves her hands deep into her pockets.

"You were right." Barba breaks the silence, but doesn't move. 

"I usually am."

Barba smirks. "You gonna yell at me?"

"That was my plan in the waiting room."

Finally he looks at her. His eyes soften as they take her in. 

Lieutenant Benson isn't present. Right now, she's just Olivia, someone who almost lost the love of her life. Her normally flawless makeup is smudged and she's biting her lip to keep from crying. 

"Liv..." he trails off, holding out his good arm. 

She doesn't hesitate to go to him: sitting on the edge of the bed, wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her face into his chest. Tears are steadily soaking his shirt but she doesn't make a sound. 

Barba alternates between pressing kisses into her hair and whispering apologies. 

"I don't know what I'd do if I lost you," she says a few minutes later, her voice thick with tears. 

"Livia, that's not poss-"

"It IS possible! You got shot today! If that bullet was a few inches to the side we wouldn't be having this conversation right now," she exclaims, sitting up and cutting him off. 

She's so agitated she abruptly stands and starts pacing next to the hospital bed. 

His voice is quiet when he says, "Liv, I know that I can't decide the future, or predict what's going to happen. But I have to trust in God or fate or whatever forces are out there that we will get our happy ending. Squabbling at 85, remember?"

She stops pacing and looks at him, raw emotion in her eyes. She doesn't say anything, but gives him a small smile and tries to wipe away the tears that are falling again. 

Barba holds out his hand again, and Liv returns to his side. They sit quietly together for several minutes, just soaking in the other's presence. 

When the nurse arrived with the discharge papers, Liv moves only far enough to let Barba sign his name. With the paperwork taken care of he is able to leave the hospital. 

"Let's go home, Raf," she says, squeezing his hand. She starts to stand, but finds herself unable to move. She turns to ask what the problem is but Barba swallows her question. 

He kisses her gently, almost desperately. "I love you Liv."

"I love you too Raf," she replies. "Now please, let's go home, order takeout, and spend some time with Noah."

Barba smiles, and kisses her once more before agreeing. "Sounds perfect."


	18. Pause

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her groan is one of utter frustration, not the sexy kind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for the weekly drabble prompt at thebarsondaily Tumblr.

"Oh God, Rafi," Olivia whimpers, lost in the sensations he's causing. Alternating between kissing her breathless and nipping her neck, the lawyer seems intent on driving her insane. 

Barba smirks, about to make a snarky comment when Liv's phone starts vibrating on the coffee table. Her groan is one of utter frustration, not the sexy kind. 

"Shit," she says, pushing him away as she sits up on the couch. He doesn't intend to give up easily though, keeping his arms around her waist and his lips attached to her neck. 

"Come on, you know I have to answer this..."

She reaches out and grabs the buzzing phone, her range of motion reduced with Barba nibbling on her earlobe. 

Seeing the name on her screen, she places a hand on his chest, pushes him back and then presses two fingers to his lips. "Pause. It's the Chief," she says sternly. 

Barba rolls his eyes and huffs out an exasperated breath. He slumps down into the couch, mentally grumbling about why her phone was silent all evening and had to choose that moment to come to life. 

Liv is trying desperately to focus on her conversation with her boss, but keeps getting distracted by glimpses of Barba. 

His lip sticking out in the slightest pout; his hair tousled by her own fingers; the suspenders hanging loosely around his waist...

Sensing that Dodds had no immediate reason for the call and doesn't actually need her to do anything at almost midnight on a Tuesday, she wraps up the call quickly. 

"Un-pause," Liv says, leaning in to continue their make out session. 

"Is that even a word?" He asks. 

"Really- you're going to correct my grammar right now?"

Barba smirks. "No- I like it. Un-pause."

"That's what I thought."


	19. Midnight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barba attends a New Years Eve gala solo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When the words are flowing, ride the wave. Two fics written in two days. Hopefully this continues :)

Barba checks his watch for the tenth time in five minutes. 11:58. His stomach drops: she isn't going to make it in time. 

When Liv got called in for a case earlier that evening they were both especially disappointed: they had plans to attend a fancy schmooze fest the DA was throwing in a ballroom overlooking Times Square. On New Years Eve. Their first social event as a married couple. 

Rafael didn't feel like going without her, but Liv was optimistic that she would be able to duck out early. So he put on his freshly pressed tux and bow tie, and sent his wife a Bond-esque selfie to entice her to hurry to the party. 

Barba grabs a second flute of champagne from a passing waiter reasoning that once he finishes the two glasses he's holding he will be sufficiently drunk enough to stop missing Olivia. 

At 11:59 the host calls for the attention of the guests and directs their attention to the wall of windows with a perfect view of the crystal ball about to drop. 

Barba hangs back at the edge of the crowd. The partygoers start the countdown at 30; he takes a long sip of champagne having no intention of participating. 

Suddenly one of the champagne flutes is plucked from his hand. "This better be for me."

Turning to the thief, his eyes light up when he meets his wife's sparkling gaze. 

"I didn't think you'd make it."

She scoffs. "And leave you kiss-less at midnight? Not a chance."

"FIVE, FOUR," the crowd continues to count down. Barba pulls Liv close, their lips meeting as the crowd erupts in cheers. 

"Happy New Year Rafi," she whispers in his ear. 

"It already is, love, I have you."


	20. Office Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by the scene in 18x01 when Liv storms into Barba's office. The first two lines of dialogue (in bold) are taken directly from the episode. Unfortunately the rest was not.   
> Established Barson.

" **What do you mean there's not enough evidence?** " Olivia stormed into the ADA's office in full fight mode after speaking with her detectives about the warrant they were denied.

Rafael was sitting on the couch in his office, trying to get a few minutes of relative relaxation with a cup of coffee and his notepad, outlining the opening arguments of a pending case.

His girlfriend showing up unannounced in the middle of the workday was a pleasant surprise, even if she was clearly there for professional reasons.

" **And hello to you** ," he replied with a healthy dose of his signature snark.

She stopped and sighed at him, putting her hands on her hips. "I'm serious, Barba, we need that warrant."

He removed his feet from the coffee table and sat up, then patted the seat cushion next to him. "Hi, Liv. It's so nice for you to stop by to see your boyfriend in the middle of a busy workday," he said fake cheerfully with a big smile.

Frowning at him she crossed her arms. "I'm not kidding. And I need to be back at the precinct in thirty minutes."

"And it takes nine minutes to walk there- twelve if you stop at the coffee cart- we can talk about the warrant you don't have enough evidence for yet for ten minutes and still have between eight and eleven minutes for you to sit here with me and be my girlfriend."

She cocked her head and let out a sigh, knowing he is a hundred percent right. "Fine. But we're talking about the warrant first."

He smirked. "Alright. You need more than circumstantial evidence to get a search warrant for the home. Get something definitive I can take to a judge- street cam footage, an impartial witness; you know the drill. Then I'll get you whatever you need."

He waited for a moment to see if she would argue. He took her silence as an indication of her agreement. Then Barba dramatically checked his watch. "Oh look. That only took two minutes. Whatever shall we do for the remaining nineteen minutes until you need to leave?"

The look on his face reminded her of why she fell for him in the first place: he was the only man she'd ever met that could make smarminess attractive.

Her irritation faded and she pushed the office door shut before walking over and closing the blinds behind the couch. Relative privacy achieved, Olivia lowered herself onto Rafael's lap and immediately slid her hands up his suspenders to his shoulders, pulling herself closer.

She leaned in, her lips hovering over his. "I'm sure we can think of somethi-" he cut her off with a kiss that lasted long enough that when Liv sauntered into the precinct over an hour later she still had a satisfied smirk lingering on her lips.


	21. Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fortune cookies know best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt 'regret' from thebarsondaily's weekly drabble prompt.

She didn't know what the hell she was thinking. What kind of person does this? Shows up at their friend's apartment late on a Saturday night without calling first. What if he's on a date?

Before she can turn around the apartment door opens. "Liv? What's going on?" Barba questions with a sleep-filled voice. His hair is sticking up and low slung sweatpants are the only article of clothing he's wearing. 

"Uh-" she falters, taken aback by his appearance. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you...I'll catch up with you another time." She moves to turn but he stops her with a hand on her elbow. 

"No, it's alright, I just fell asleep watching the Yankees. Come in," he says, then realizes his state of undress. "I'm... going to grab a shirt then I'll meet you on the couch."

Olivia unconsciously surveys the apartment while she waits. The tv is on, illuminating the otherwise dark room. On the coffee table are the remnants of Barba's dinner, some case files, and a half full glass of scotch.

Rafael joins her after a minute, rubbing his hands over his face. "Everything okay?"

Olivia nods. She reaches out and knocks back his scotch. 

He raises his eyebrows but doesn't comment. 

After a moment she says, "This might sound ridiculous. I got this fortune cookie that said 'The biggest regret is the chance not taken' and all I can think about is you."

"I'm your biggest regret?" His voice is full of hurt. 

Olivia shifts closer to him. "No. Rafael, my biggest regret is not having done this before." And then she leans in and kisses him. 

When they part he grabs something off the coffee table. "This was in my fortune cookie tonight."

"'Love is on its way'." They share a smile and she says, "That is one smart cookie."


	22. Bruised

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael in protective dad mode.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for the weekly drabble prompt over at thebarsondaily tumblr, 'bruise'.

"Olivia, I don't know if I feel comfortable sending him there anymore."

Olivia turns from the stove to see her husband leaning against the counter. Still in his work clothes, Rafael is chewing on his lip, clearly stressed. 

"I don't like what happened anymore than you do, but this was an isolated incident. Noah's been going there for three years and we've never dealt with anything like this before."

Rafael stares across the living room at Noah. The four year old is totally engrossed in his iPad. A purple bruise mars his chubby cheek. 

His voice is low and full of pain. "I made a promise when I proposed to you. I vowed to keep him safe, that I would always do what was best for him. I know what it's like to be bullied and afraid and I won't allow him to go through that, Liv. I can't."

Barba rarely speaks of it but Olivia knows the extent of the abuse he suffered at the hands of his father. Her heart aches for him. 

"We're meeting with the daycare director first thing in the morning. We will get to the bottom of it and if we're uncomfortable we can look into other daycare options."

He nods then takes a deep breath and drops his head. "Thank you," he whispers. He turns and embraces Olivia tightly. 

"Daddy guess what?" Noah interrupts the emotional moment between his parents, tugging on Barba's pant leg. 

"What, buddy?" 

"You're the best daddy in the whole wide world!" Noah exclaims, then dissolves into giggles. 

Picking up his son Barba replies in traditional form, "Guess what Noah; you're the best Noah in the whole wide world!"

They laugh together and Olivia's heart glows. She couldn't have picked a better father for her son if she tried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Noah and Rafael's exchange is 100% stolen from the 4yo in my life. Love you S!


	23. Betrayal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia returns from a week away unexpectedly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for the weekly drabble prompt 'betrayal' from the Tumblr thebarsondaily

Olivia Benson is tired. A long day had turned into a long week when their suspect took off across the country causing her to take a spur of the moment trip to Idaho. 

But now she was back, and looking forward to a glass of wine, her couch, and the season two finale of 'The Shield'. All in the company of her boyfriend. 

Noah will certainly be in bed as it's almost 10pm, but it's been almost a week since she has seen Rafael and she's anxious to be in his arms again. 

She opens the front door, surprised to find the lights off throughout the apartment. A subtle glow coming out from under the bedroom door. The sounds coming out of the bedroom cause her blood to boil. 

"What the hell do you think you're doing Rafael Barba?"

Barba looks up at her from his position on the bed and even in the dim light she can see him pale. "Olivia, mi amor, I didn't know you were coming home tonight."

She snorts. "Clearly. How long has this been going on?"

"Just this once. I'm so sorry. You were gone for so long-I just-"

She cuts him off. "I had a really shitty week and I missed you and I just wanted to come home and snuggle with you and find out what happens with the Armenians. And instead I come home to this betrayal," she says, gesturing to the television screen that is currently showing 'The Shield', the couple's latest television addiction. 

"If I promise no spoilers and a back rub will you forgive me? I've missed you terribly, my love." 

His pouty face pulls at her heartstrings. She really did miss him. "Throw in a glass of wine and you're on."


	24. Haunted House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When they take Noah to a Halloween street fair Rafael finds out Liv is scared of haunted houses. "You chase murderers and rapists every day but you're scared of a teenager dressed up like a zombie?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little Halloween fluff! Established Barson, ambiguous Rollisi.

"A sexy taco? Seriously? Why does a taco need to be sexualized?" Rafael says under his breath to Olivia, who is focused on Noah rather than the crowd around them. 

"I don't know, the sounds you make when we have Chipotle are eerily similar-"

She starts laughing when he smacks her arm and protests indignantly, "That is NOT true!"

"Noah, sweetie. Come here and hold my hand," she calls out, still laughing as she grabs her boyfriend's hand and pulls him into her side. 

Noah obediently returns to his mother's side and takes her hand. He is absolutely mesmerized by the sights and sounds of the Halloween carnival. 

"Mama I have up?" He asks, craning his neck for a better view around the crowds. 

Before she can answer, Rafael steps in. "Come here, amigo. Give Mama your bucket for a minute," he says, and proceeds to hoist the boy onto his shoulders. 

"Tanks Rafa," Noah says sweetly, grabbing onto his head and inadvertently hitting him in the face with the club he's holding. 

"Ow."

"Ooh, careful Noah. You don't want to hurt Rafael, sweetie."

"Sorry Rafa. I kiss it better," Noah says, then proceeds to slobber all over Barba's hair in an attempt to "fix" the boo boo. 

The Barsons were attending a neighbourhood street carnival on the Saturday before Halloween. Liv had picked out their costumes weeks before; they were going as The Flintstones. Rafael didn't mind the shapeless sack that made up his Fred costume, and Liv looked amazing in her white shift dress and pearls as Wilma. Noah rounded out the family as Bam Bam, complete with a foam club that was proving to be quite dangerous for those around him. 

They wandered around taking in the different booths set up around the perimeter of the street, stopping to chat with what seemed like every other person there. 

After being introduced to yet another couple, Rafael pulled Liv close and hissed in her ear. "How do you know all these people?"

She laughed. "It's called being social. I've lived in the same building for four years, you get to know people after awhile."

Barba retorts, "Yeah, I've lived in the same building longer than that- I think I've seen the people who live on my floor twice. Probably wouldn't be able to pick them out of a lineup," he adds flippantly. 

Suddenly something catches his eye and his face lights up. "Liv- look! They turned the coffee shop into a haunted house!"

Liv laughs nervously. "You go ahead- Noah's too little for those things," she says, reaching up to pull Noah off Barba's shoulders. 

Barba takes a step back out of her reach. "We can go in once Rollins and Carisi get here- I'm sure they wouldn't mind watching Noah for ten minutes."

Olivia's face twists momentarily before she schools her features. "No, it's okay, really. You go on. Haunted houses aren't really my thing."

Barba scrutinizes her for a moment. "Oh my god. You're scared!"

She scoffs at him but averts her eyes and doesn't respond. 

"You chase murderers and rapists every day but you're scared of a teenager dressed up like a zombie?"

Liv rolls her eyes and blushes faintly. "I... may have had a bad experience as a child."

"It's alright Lieutenant, a big and strong ADA will protect you from the scary monsters," he teases. 

She exaggerates looking around for someone. "Oh good. Do you see one around here anywhere?"

Barba gives her an unimpressed look and pulls her into his side, one arm still holding Noah steady on his shoulders. "You're no fun, mi amor."

She laughs and leans up to press a quick kiss to his lips. "That's not what you were saying last night," she sing-songs into his ear. 

He swallows hard, speechless at the memory. Of course Carisi and Rollins find them at that moment. 

"Hey Counsellor! Are you alright? Ya look a little flushed," Carisi questions as Liv and Amanda exchange greetings. 

Making a decision quickly Barba swings Noah down and into Carisi's arms, then takes Liv by the hand. He says, "I'm fine. Just watch Noah for a few minutes? Liv really wants to go in the haunted house." He doesn't wait for an answer before walking away pulling Liv behind him. 

"Raf, I really don't want..."

He cuts her off with a quick kiss. "I know. We're not going to the haunted house."

"Oh?" she raises one inquisitive eyebrow. 

"We're going in the alley NEXT to the haunted house. We have five, maybe ten minutes before they get suspicious."

Liv winks. "I can be fun for five, maybe ten minutes."


	25. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was the ultimate show of trust: taking care of her son. The sweet little boy that brought limitless happiness and sunshine into Olivia Benson's sometimes dreary life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for the weekly drabble prompt 'trust' from thebarsondaily tumblr account.

It was the ultimate show of trust: taking care of her son. The sweet little boy that brought limitless happiness and sunshine into Olivia Benson's sometimes dreary life. 

Lucy had scheduled a well deserved vacation, and Liv intended to have a light week at work. Except now there was a bug going through the precinct. It was so bad they were calling in officers from other precincts to cover in every unit. 

Liv had managed to avoid contracting the bug, but Carisi and Rollins were both out sick. Leaving her stuck for childcare once Noah's preschool ended at 3:00. 

Which is how Barba found himself waiting in the hallway outside Noah's classroom with the other parents and caregivers waiting for their children. 

Barba waited for what seemed like fifty children to be collected before Noah finally appeared in the door. He looked apprehensive, and Barba said a brief prayer that the boy wouldn't burst into tears when he realized Olivia wasn't there. 

"You must be here to collect Noah?" the teacher asked. "Lieutenant Benson let us know you would be doing pick up today, but we need photo identification before we can release Noah into your care."

Satisfied with their security protocols, Barba happily flashed his ADA credentials. 

The teacher asked Noah if he knew who was here to pick him up. Noah looked at her like she was stupid. "Yes. Dat my Raf."

Barba had to work to hold in a smile. He held out his hand to the boy, smiling when Noah gave him a hug instead. 

"Where's Mama?"

"She's helping Uncle Fin at work, Carisi and Amanda are sick."

"Okay. We go da park?"

Barba blinks, surprised at Noah's easy acceptance. "Whatever you want."

"And ice cream!" Noah adds as they walk toward the exit. Barba just smiles, never one to turn down ice cream.


	26. Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noah tests his negotiating skills.
> 
> Thanks to Fearlessbenson for the plot of this story- it wouldn't have been written without you!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for the prompt 'anger' at thebarsondaily.

"No, Mamí! I don't want to have a bath!"

Olivia resisted the urge to roll her eyes at her son. The three year old who loved baths so much that she would have to keep adding warm water so he could stay in longer had turned four and all of a sudden loathed the tub with a fiery passion. 

"Well unfortunately you have to have one Sweetheart."

"No! Papí doesn't have to have a bath. So I'm not having one too." Noah says adamantly and crosses his arms across his chest, glowering at her across the room. Liv can't help but think of when her husband did the same thing in his office earlier that afternoon when Carisi was trying to explain a far fetched theory. 

She can't hold in a smile at the thought and Noah is just staring at her, getting angrier by the second. Rafael enters the room and looks between them. "Uh, what's going on?" 

"Your son is refusing to take a bath." "I don't wanna have a bath." They both answer at the same time. 

Rafael nods slowly, familiar with the pre-bath argument. "Well, that's too bad. I had lunch with Abuelita* today and she sent a whole batch of merenguitos**, but they're only for pequeños niños*** who've had a bath."

Noah's eyes widened at the mention of his favourite treat, but he doesn't give up. He shifts his focus from Liv to Rafael. "If I have to have a bath to get a treat, then you do too, Papí."

Liv snorts. "Only your son would negotiate bath time like a plea bargain."

"We are passionate in our pursuit of justice and cookies, what can I say?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Abuelita - grandma  
> ** merenguitos - a type of Cuban cookie (at least according to Google)  
> *** pequeños niños - little boys


	27. Umbrella

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A day at the beach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for the prompt 'umbrella' for thebarsondaily tumblr. I decided to go with a beach umbrella, for some reason I found this prompt really tricky!

"Noah! Raf! Come have some lunch!" Liv called over the sound of waves and other beachgoers from her place under their umbrella. 

Barba acknowledged her with a wave, but it was almost five minutes later when he was able to convince Noah to take a break from their sandcastle building to eat. 

"But Mama I not done. Noah n Raf make biggest castle ever!" The little boy complained as he stomped into the shade. 

Liv and Barba shared a chuckle at the small boy. He had certainly taken to the beach right away, not bothered by the sand or wet. So far he had only complained about taking a break from playing to reapply sunscreen or get nourishment. 

"You can finish your castle in a few minutes sweetie. Just have something to eat and get out of the sun for ten minutes."

Grudgingly Noah picked up his water bottle and took a big drink. Once she placed a container of bite-sized vegetables, cheese, and hummus in front of him he started eating immediately. 

Rafael settled on the blanket next to his girlfriend and pulled her into a side hug. He placed a kiss on her cheek and said quietly, "Thanks for inviting me today. I forgot how much I love the shore."

Liv smiled at him. "I'm happy you could come- apparently your castle building skills are much better than mine."

He chuckled. "Doubtful. I have a feeling it's going to collapse soon. Maybe we can distract him with a walk down the beach?"

She leaned over and captured his lips in a gentle kiss. "Sounds perfect."


	28. Tough Guy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liv and Barba unwind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was inspired by a tumblr text post.

Moonlight was streaming through the open curtains casting an almost ethereal glow over the bedroom. Olivia didn't usually forget to close the blinds before she went to bed; between her job and her son she got up early most days anyway. The sun didn't need to have its turn waking her on the off chance she got to sleep past dawn. 

But tonight when she and Rafael stumbled into her room, curtains were the last thing on her mind. It was not nearly the first time they had spent the night together but it definitely hadn't become routine. Yet. 

Their evening was spent prepping an exceptionally difficult case and by nine o'clock they had both needed to put the work away and just unwind and try to get their minds off the broken lives for whom they were seeking justice. 

"Wanna play poker?" Barba asked with a grin. 

"No," she sighed. "Too much thinking. I don't want to think anymore."

So they had turned on the tv and grabbed some alcohol. They spent the next few hours making up drinking games based on whatever show happened to come on. Laughter bounced off the walls and more than once they shushed each other- worried they would wake Noah. 

As the clock crept closer to midnight, they spent more time kissing than drinking, but the atmosphere stayed silly and light. 

Olivia couldn't remember ever having so much fun with a boyfriend. The silly side of Rafael Barba didn't come out for just anyone, either. She felt so privileged that he let her see him totally at ease and maybe even ridiculous. 

When they finally stumbled into the bedroom, tangled limbs and clothes flying. They managed to make it to the bed, but once there they seemed to both fall victim to the late hour, sinking into the pillow top mattress with twin moans. 

"God that feels so gooood," Liv moaned, feeling her muscles relax. 

"Si, mucho good," Rafael drunkenly agreed, turning over and snuggling into her side. 

"Just sleep then?"

"Mmm," he responded with a moan. 

The room had been silent for a few minutes when Olivia nuzzled Rafael's neck. She placed a wet kiss just under his ear and whispered, "I could beat the shit out of you."

He hummed in agreement. "I know, mi amor."

"I won't though."

He smiled and shifted around so he could nuzzle into her hair. He loved her hair. "I know that too. Sleep now."

"'kay. Love you," she mumbled, already half asleep. 

"You too, tough guy," he laughed, chuckling at his own drunken joke. 

"Sleep," she commanded, trying to elbow him but missing his body entirely. 

They fell asleep laughing, smiles still in place until 6 am when Noah tiptoed in and decided to practice his cannonball.


	29. First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael and Olivia go on their first date. Inspired by an edit by the amazing roseinutopia on Tumblr.

Rafael insisted she leave the plans to him, and refused to tell her anything other than to 'dress up'.

Promptly at six o'clock he knocked on her door. He felt a little cliche showing up in a tux, with a not exactly original dinner-and-a-show itinerary planned for the night but he wanted everything to be perfect. This was his first real chance to show Olivia how much she means to him. 

When he heard the locks click, he took a deep breath, bracing himself. He awkwardly held out a bouquet of flowers and said, "These are for you," before the door fully opened. Once it did he blushed and pulled the flowers back toward himself. Lucy stood there smiling at him, Noah on one hip. 

"Liv's almost ready, she said for you to come in," she said, and as they walked into the living room Barba made a mental note to give her an extra tip for not mentioning his faux pas. 

Barba turned his attention to Noah who was still in Lucy's arms. "Hola, amigo!"

Noah looked at him sadly. "Mama say Noah hafta stay home."

"Yeah, sorry Noah. Tonight it's just for Mamí and me. But when we go somewhere fun like the zoo we'll take you with us, okay?"

Noah perked up a little at that. "Kay Bawba."

Barba reached out his hand to high five the toddler. As they shared a smile, Barba heard the clicking of heels. He turned around to see Olivia approach them. She had a soft smile on her face, appreciating the interaction between her son and her... boyfriend? They hadn't had the talk yet, but she's sure they're on the same page. Neither one of them is the type to risk everything for a fling. 

Rafael swallowed deeply, trying to gather himself. "Hi," he said softly. 

"Hi," she replied her tone matching his. 

They were both a little nervous, knowing that so much was at stake: their careers, their friendship, their future happiness. 

"These are for you," he said holding out the flowers again, to the right woman this time. 

"Thank you, they're gorgeous," she compliments and then takes a deep breath. "And they smell amazing."

Barba barely holds in a comment about how they don't hold a candle to her, but thankfully Noah picks that moment to interrupt and save him from that moment of supreme cheesiness. 

"Mama! Bawba gonna take me to da zooooo." 

Liv raised an eyebrow at the now blushing lawyer and reached out to take Noah from Lucy. 

"I just said that tonight was just for you and me- and we'd take him with us when we went to a fun place like the zoo. I'm sorry if I overstepped..."

Liv smiled and shook her head. "Not at all. But you should know, now he's going to ask about the zoo every time he sees you until you take him!" She smiled down at her son. 

"We'll have to go soon then because if I have anything to say about it I'm going to be around a lot."

"Noah, tell Barba that we're free tomorrow after your nap."

He felt the tension dissipate at her words: with the promise of a second date before they had even started their first, they could just enjoy tonight and not worry about putting too much pressure on each other. 

"It's a date," Barba agreed. "A second date," he clarified. 

Lucy was fed up with their uncharacteristic shyness with each other and said, "Well you'll never get to your second date if you don't leave for your first!"

The adults shared a chuckle and Liv gave Noah a kiss and a hug, passing him back to Lucy. "Bye sweetheart, I love you. Mama will be here in the morning when you wake up."

"Love you Mama. Bye bye Bawba."

"Bye bye, Noah."

They finished up their goodbyes to Noah and Lucy, and headed for the door. Barba helped Liv slip on her coat, getting a whiff of her perfume in the process. 

"What?" she asked self consciously as she locked the door behind them, questioning the look on his face. 

"I just can't quite believe this is real. I'm half-expecting to wake up and have this all be a dream."

Liv smirked. "Well you better believe this is real. Dream Olivia doesn't need two hours to primp like I do."

She turned to walk down the hallway and shifted her clutch into her right hand so she could take hold of Barba's hand with her left. 

He squeezed her hand gently, and together they made their way to the elevator both excited for the night ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have ideas for the actual date so this may be continued at some point.


	30. Courtroom Shooting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the courtroom exploded into chaos, Barba had only one thought. Olivia.

The courtroom had exploded into absolute chaos. Screams and shouting filled the air as the last echoes of gunshots disappear. 

Barba doesn't know how they got the weapons passed the security guards, but that was the least of his concerns at the moment. 

Olivia. 

When the shots rang out she was testifying in the witness box, being questioned by the defence. He can't see her now, but that might be due to his current position on the floor. 

He's not even sure the danger is over, but he crawls across the floor in search of the SVU Lieutenant. He needs to make sure she's okay. There's no way she was hit. She can't go out like this. 

As he reaches the wood panels encasing the witness box, he vaguely registers someone calling out that the shooters have been apprehended and First Responders would be in momentarily to treat those injured. 

"Liv?" he calls out, scrambling to his feet and tripping a little in his haste to find her. 

"Uhhhh," she moans in response. 

"Olivia!" Barba's voice comes out as a strangled whimper as he falls to his knees next to her prone body. 

Blood is steadily flowing from a bullet wound in her upper torso near her right shoulder. Without a conscious thought he strips off his blazer and places it against the wound, applying pressure. 

"Ah, fuck that hurts!" She swears, and while he wishes he wasn't causing her pain, he's relieved that she's conscious. 

"Sorry, but I need to slow the bleeding," he replies, not realizing he's speaking in Spanish. 

"Rafi?" Liv whispers after a pause. She's trying to open her eyes to look at him but can't seem to get her body to respond. 

"I'm here, love," he replies, shifting his weight to press against the wound with only one arm. He uses the other hand to brush the hair back from her face, and leans down to place a chaste kiss on her cheek. 

Olivia mumbles something unintelligible. 

"It's okay, Liv. You're going to be fine," he reassures her. Frantically he looks around the room for paramedics or anyone to help him. 

Flagging down a passing officer, it's not long before medics take over and Barba is pushed back. He answers their questions automatically, running along side of the gurney holding her hand. 

He's forced to let go so they can load her into the ambulance and for the thirty seconds it takes to get the gurney situated and Rafael himself to climb in the back and take hold of her hand again he feels like she is going to drift away from him. 

When his fingers find hers, they both hold tightly. The ride to the hospital is both too long (he's never cursed traffic like this before) and too short (he doesn't want to let go of her hand again). 

Barba tries to follow but gets stopped outside the ER and can only watch helplessly as the doctors take her away. He stands in the middle of the hallway staring at the doors separating him from his love. 

She's going to be fine. She has to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um...I've been blocked with this story for literal months. So here it is. Choose your own ending? I'm choosing that she's fine.


	31. Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When I wrote this, I was thinking of the scene in 18x1 when Chief Dodds makes the comment to Liv about her doing her job got his son killed. So this is loosely set after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for the prompt 'touch' for the weekly drabbles at thebarsondaily Tumblr.

One touch. 

A gentle hand on her shoulder for three seconds. That's all it was. Yet the warmth has lingered for hours now, and she can't stop thinking about the look in his eyes. 'It's not your fault, Liv. You did the best you could.'

And in that moment she believed him. Rafael Barba didn't give out empty platitudes. Sometimes she thinks he knows her better than anyone on the planet. Including her boyfriend.

The doubt has returned now, and she finds herself wishing he was here with her. Something about his presence is calming. 

She's not sure what it is. Maybe his unwavering trust in her; he has always supported her even when he probably shouldn't. Whatever the reason, she would regularly seek him out during tough times. A text message or sharing a drink seemed to renew her spirit like nothing other than her son. 

Her phone buzzes on her desk and she can't help the feeling of hope that bubbles inside for just a moment; long enough for her to read the name on the screen. 

Ed Tucker. 

Sighing, she lets the phone ring unanswered and gathers her purse to go home. She doesn't feel like putting on a front tonight, doesn't want to have to be fun and flirty. 

As she walks out of the precinct into the evening air her phone beeps. Unable to hold in a groan, she pulls it out. Her frown turns into a smile at the message on the display. 

[You up for a nightcap?]

[Just left my office. Forlini's?]

[First one there grabs a table]

She feels a twinge of guilt for avoiding Tucker but it doesn't last. The warm feeling returns as she enters the restaurant: a bottle of her favourite wine is sitting in front of Barba.


	32. Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liv has a slip of the tongue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for the prompt 'rain' for the weekly drabbles at thebarsondaily tumblr.

"Hey, Raf. We're heading out on our walk now. Do you want to come?"

Barba gives Olivia a funny look. "It's pouring rain out. Why on earth are you going for a walk?"

She laughs. "It's been raining for days now, and will all weekend. If we waited for it to stop, Noah wouldn't get any fresh air at all. Besides, he'll nap much longer if he can run off some energy. Leaving us with at least two whole hours to ourselves."

His eyes widen at the implication. "I guess that's why umbrellas were invented."

Liv smiles at his sudden change in attitude. "Finish up with your paperwork while I get Noah ready."

Twenty minutes later the three of them are walking down an empty path in Central Park. Liv and Barba are sharing a large umbrella, and Noah is running ahead of them in his hooded rainsuit. 

"Where does he get all that energy?" Rafael wonders aloud making Liv smirk. 

"A question asked by parents everywhere," she answers automatically then realizes what she just said. She tenses and tries to backtrack. "I mean..."

Just then Noah yells, "Muddy puddles! Mama look!"

Liv is still tongue-tied; horrified that she basically called Barba Noah's father after they had been dating less than two months. He was surprisingly comfortable with the two year old, but she didn't want to push it. 

Barba glanced at his girlfriend and smiled reassuringly. "Good thing you're wearing your boots Noah. Go ahead and jump!"

They watch Noah splash for a few minutes then Liv turns to Barba. "I didn't mean to overstep."

"Liv, you didn't. I know it hasn't been long but- I love him. Let's just let things evolve naturally."

She presses a kiss to his cheek. "He loves you too."


	33. Gold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael drags Liv out in questionable weather.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is for the prompt 'gold' for the drabble prompt at thebarsondaily Tumblr. I kind of cheated though, the original idea for the fic was 'rain'. But it still works :)

Rafael tended to be as stubborn in his personal life as he was as an ADA this was getting ridiculous. 

"Raf, it's starting to get really grey out here- maybe we should-"

"Liv, it'll be fine. The weather app says it's not supposed to start raining for another two hours." There was a hint of panic in his voice that he couldn't quite hide and he started walking even faster along the path. 

Rolling her eyes she hurries along beside him. Around the next bend he abruptly pulls her off to the side and they stop next to a bench. 

Immediately it starts to rain. 

"Looks like your app was wrong. Can we go now?"

Barba shakes his head and mutters something about the universe ruining his plans.

"Plans? Rafi, what's going on?" Liv takes a moment to look around, and notices they are standing in a familiar place. "Wait- is this...?"

When she looks back at him, Rafael has dropped to one knee in front of her. Speechless, she just stares, trying to process the moment.

"Liv, I love you so much. I had a whole speech planned but it's probably better if I move things along." He drops her hand and pulls a blue box out of his pocket. All she can see of the ring through her tears is a flash of gold. 

"Olivia Benson, will you marry me?"

Blinking the tears away she focuses on his face. "Yes."

"Yes?" He double checks, his heart pounding. 

She pulls him to his feet and wraps her arms around his neck. "Yes," she whispers, then kisses him. 

A loud clap of thunder startles them apart. "Run!" They yell, and start toward the nearest exit. 

Giggling and completely soaked they enter her apartment to find it full of people. Rafael proudly announces, "She said yes!"


	34. Old Fashioned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liv and Barba go on their first date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for the weekly Drabble prompts for @thebarsondaily tumblr. Prompt: old fashioned.

It had been a perfect night. Dinner, dancing, and now they were on their way for dessert. 

Olivia smiled as they headed in the direction of Barba's apartment. This is exactly where she and her $200 purchase at La Perla were hoping the night would end up. 

She tightened her hold on his hand, sharing a smile with him. Her smile faded however, as Barba slowed his pace outside a small restaurant and moved toward the door.

"Something wrong, Liv?" 

"Uh, when you asked if I was ready for dessert were you actually talking about food?"

He gives her a puzzled look. "Yes, this place has the bes- wait. Did you think I was talking about... sex?" His voice squeaks on the last word. 

Liv rolls her eyes. "You work for the Sex Crimes Bureau. You can say the word."

Barba blushes slightly. "I just- this is our first date."

"Don't be so old-fashioned Rafael. Do you want to go in here and have cake? Or do you want to go back to your place?" she asks, getting more nervous the longer she speaks. Maybe he doesn't want her that way. Maybe he was planning to give her the 'we're better off as friends speech' over cheesecake. 

He steps closer, pulling her body against his. "I really, really want to go back to my place, with you," he says, looking directly in her eyes. 

She shivers in the warm summer air. Then she leans in, kissing him. "Then what are you waiting for?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fyi- La Perla is a lingerie store


End file.
